Open any comment section on the internet long enough and you'll find someone telling a stranger to just get over it. On most platforms, that's the cost of being visible: eventually, someone unkind finds you. On Steadyfy, we work hard to stop that. Not as a moderation policy enforced after the fact. As a rule the app checks before the message is sent.
What actually gets stopped
By default, every check-in is checked, in the moment, before it reaches the person who posted. We're not looking for swearing or bluntness. Directness isn't the problem, and cultural bluntness isn't the problem. What gets flagged is language built to make someone feel small: dismissiveness ("just get over it," "it's not that deep"), belittling ("you're being dramatic," "grow up"), blame ("this is your fault," "you brought this on yourself"), and outright cruelty ("nobody cares," "you're pathetic").
If a check-in reads like that, it doesn't get softened or edited. It doesn't get sent with a warning label. It simply doesn't go through. The person who wrote it is asked to rewrite it, and there's no option to send a flagged message anyway to someone who's already vulnerable.
What doesn't get flagged, on purpose
We were careful to build this narrow. Tough love that comes from real concern isn't rude. Direct, honest language that's still caring isn't rude. A strong challenge, when someone specifically asked for that kind of feedback, isn't rude. Swearing that isn't aimed at hurting anyone isn't rude. The line isn't about tone or intensity. It's about whether the message is trying to help the person or make them feel worse.
We'd rather miss a few borderline cases than build something that flattens every reply into the same careful, watered-down register. Honest feedback should still be allowed to be honest.
Why this is on by default
People show up to Steadyfy at some of the hardest moments in their lives. A single cruel reply landing on a post like that can undo the reason someone worked up the nerve to post at all. We didn't want that protection sitting behind a toggle someone has to know to look for. It's on for everyone by default, from the first post.
This is one of the places where we've deliberately made the choice for you up front. We think that's the right trade here. If you'd rather see everything, you can turn it off in Check-in settings.
Ready to write your first chapter?
If you’re struggling right now, find free crisis lines here.
